Growing into Maturity and Virtue for the Single Woman
In the poetic beauty of Song of Solomon 8:8-10, we meet a young woman’s brothers, protective and vigilant, concerned for their “little sister” who is not yet mature. They strategize to guard her until she is ready for love, asking, “What shall we do for our sister on the day when she is spoken for?” (8:8). Yet, in verse 10, the woman herself speaks, declaring, “I was a wall, and my breasts were like towers; then I was in his eyes as one who finds peace.” This is no longer a child needing protection but a mature woman—physically, emotionally, and spiritually secure in her identity. Her journey reflects the process of Christian maturity, especially for single women seeking to honor God, and it points to the godliness required of men and the Body of Christ to foster such growth.
The Journey of Maturity: Becoming a Wall
The woman’s declaration, “I was a wall,” is a powerful image of strength, virtue, and self-discipline. Her “breasts like towers” signify not sensuality but full maturity—physical, yes, but also emotional and moral. She has grown from the “little sister” (8:8) into a confident woman who claims agency over her choices. For the single Christian woman, this maturity is a process rooted in a deepening relationship with God, who meets the deepest needs of the heart.
Hebrews 5:12-14 reminds us that spiritual maturity comes through discernment, trained by “constant practice to distinguish good from evil.” Like the woman in Song of Solomon, a single woman grows into a wall by setting boundaries and safeguards—choosing purity, wisdom, and godliness over fleeting temptations. This isn’t about isolation but about building a life that reflects Christ. Joseph, in Genesis 39:7-9, resisted Potiphar’s wife not because he lacked desire but because his love and reverence for God were paramount. His relationship with God made him secure, enabling him to say, “How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?” Similarly, a single woman’s security lies in her intimacy with Jesus, her first love (Revelation 2:1-4), which empowers her to live with purpose and conviction.
The Beauty of Virtue: Attractiveness Beyond the External
The woman’s virtue, not her physical appearance, makes her “in his eyes as one who finds peace” (Song of Solomon 8:10). Her attractiveness stems from her character—her strength as a “wall” and her maturity as “towers.” This reflects 1 Peter 3:3-4: “Do not let your adorning be external… but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” Peter isn’t forbidding stylish clothing—dressing well for a wedding is fine!—but he warns against prioritizing external beauty over inner godliness. A single woman can be fashionable without being immodest, letting her virtue shine as her true adornment.
For Christian men, godliness is equally critical. The groom in Song of Solomon sees the woman’s virtue and finds “peace” in her stability and trust. A godly man, like Joseph, looks beyond physical beauty to cherish a woman’s character—her faith, integrity, and love for God. Preparing to be a godly husband means cultivating a heart that values what God values, seeking a partner who reflects Christ’s beauty. Both men and women grow secure when their deepest needs are met by God’s love, which satisfies more than any human relationship ever could. As Revelation 2:4 warns, we must not abandon our “first love” for Jesus, for only His love teaches us to fully love and be loved.
The Role of the Body of Christ: Protective Brothers Today
In the ancient Middle East, brothers fiercely guarded their sisters’ honor. Today, the Body of Christ—our spiritual family—must take up this mantle, providing protection and discipleship for single women and men. Just as the brothers planned to build “battlements of silver” or “boards of cedar” (8:9), the Church should offer guidance, accountability, and community to nurture spiritual maturity. This means mentoring young women in their faith, teaching them to set godly boundaries, and encouraging them to pursue Christ above all. It also means discipling men to be godly leaders who honor women as sisters in Christ, valuing their worth beyond the superficial.
The Church can foster maturity by creating spaces for growth—Bible studies, mentorship, and communities where singles are valued not for their marital status but for their identity in Christ. Like the woman who became a “wall,” believers need safeguards: accountability partners, prayer, and immersion in God’s Word to discern right from wrong (Hebrews 5:14). These boundaries aren’t restrictive but liberating, enabling us to live confidently as God’s children.
Preparing to Be Godly: Secure in God’s Love
Whether single or seeking a spouse, the call to maturity is universal. Song of Solomon celebrates the beauty of love and intimacy, but it also points to our ultimate love relationship with the Lord. A godly woman or man is secure not because of external validation but because God’s love is enough. The woman in Song of Solomon finds peace in her beloved’s eyes because her heart is first anchored in God’s purposes. Similarly, our deepest longings—for love, acceptance, and purpose—are met in Christ, who says, “My peace I give to you” (John 14:27).
To prepare as a godly woman, pursue emotional and spiritual maturity by:
To prepare as a godly man, grow in godliness by:
True maturity—physical, emotional, and spiritual—makes us secure in Christ, enabling single women and men to live as “walls” of godliness. The Church, like protective brothers, must disciple us to prioritize virtue and our first love for Jesus, whose love alone satisfies our deepest longings.
The Journey of Maturity: Becoming a Wall
The woman’s declaration, “I was a wall,” is a powerful image of strength, virtue, and self-discipline. Her “breasts like towers” signify not sensuality but full maturity—physical, yes, but also emotional and moral. She has grown from the “little sister” (8:8) into a confident woman who claims agency over her choices. For the single Christian woman, this maturity is a process rooted in a deepening relationship with God, who meets the deepest needs of the heart.
Hebrews 5:12-14 reminds us that spiritual maturity comes through discernment, trained by “constant practice to distinguish good from evil.” Like the woman in Song of Solomon, a single woman grows into a wall by setting boundaries and safeguards—choosing purity, wisdom, and godliness over fleeting temptations. This isn’t about isolation but about building a life that reflects Christ. Joseph, in Genesis 39:7-9, resisted Potiphar’s wife not because he lacked desire but because his love and reverence for God were paramount. His relationship with God made him secure, enabling him to say, “How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?” Similarly, a single woman’s security lies in her intimacy with Jesus, her first love (Revelation 2:1-4), which empowers her to live with purpose and conviction.
The Beauty of Virtue: Attractiveness Beyond the External
The woman’s virtue, not her physical appearance, makes her “in his eyes as one who finds peace” (Song of Solomon 8:10). Her attractiveness stems from her character—her strength as a “wall” and her maturity as “towers.” This reflects 1 Peter 3:3-4: “Do not let your adorning be external… but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” Peter isn’t forbidding stylish clothing—dressing well for a wedding is fine!—but he warns against prioritizing external beauty over inner godliness. A single woman can be fashionable without being immodest, letting her virtue shine as her true adornment.
For Christian men, godliness is equally critical. The groom in Song of Solomon sees the woman’s virtue and finds “peace” in her stability and trust. A godly man, like Joseph, looks beyond physical beauty to cherish a woman’s character—her faith, integrity, and love for God. Preparing to be a godly husband means cultivating a heart that values what God values, seeking a partner who reflects Christ’s beauty. Both men and women grow secure when their deepest needs are met by God’s love, which satisfies more than any human relationship ever could. As Revelation 2:4 warns, we must not abandon our “first love” for Jesus, for only His love teaches us to fully love and be loved.
The Role of the Body of Christ: Protective Brothers Today
In the ancient Middle East, brothers fiercely guarded their sisters’ honor. Today, the Body of Christ—our spiritual family—must take up this mantle, providing protection and discipleship for single women and men. Just as the brothers planned to build “battlements of silver” or “boards of cedar” (8:9), the Church should offer guidance, accountability, and community to nurture spiritual maturity. This means mentoring young women in their faith, teaching them to set godly boundaries, and encouraging them to pursue Christ above all. It also means discipling men to be godly leaders who honor women as sisters in Christ, valuing their worth beyond the superficial.
The Church can foster maturity by creating spaces for growth—Bible studies, mentorship, and communities where singles are valued not for their marital status but for their identity in Christ. Like the woman who became a “wall,” believers need safeguards: accountability partners, prayer, and immersion in God’s Word to discern right from wrong (Hebrews 5:14). These boundaries aren’t restrictive but liberating, enabling us to live confidently as God’s children.
Preparing to Be Godly: Secure in God’s Love
Whether single or seeking a spouse, the call to maturity is universal. Song of Solomon celebrates the beauty of love and intimacy, but it also points to our ultimate love relationship with the Lord. A godly woman or man is secure not because of external validation but because God’s love is enough. The woman in Song of Solomon finds peace in her beloved’s eyes because her heart is first anchored in God’s purposes. Similarly, our deepest longings—for love, acceptance, and purpose—are met in Christ, who says, “My peace I give to you” (John 14:27).
To prepare as a godly woman, pursue emotional and spiritual maturity by:
- Deepening your prayer life and trust in God’s timing.
- Setting boundaries that honor your body and heart, reflecting your identity as a “wall.”
- Cultivating virtues like kindness, patience, and humility, which shine brighter than any outward adornment.
To prepare as a godly man, grow in godliness by:
- Seeking Christ’s character, learning to see women through God’s eyes.
- Practicing self-control and integrity, like Joseph, in all areas of life.
- Valuing sisters in Christ for their faith and virtue, not just appearance.
True maturity—physical, emotional, and spiritual—makes us secure in Christ, enabling single women and men to live as “walls” of godliness. The Church, like protective brothers, must disciple us to prioritize virtue and our first love for Jesus, whose love alone satisfies our deepest longings.