When You're Angry
I’m afraid that rather than influencing the world with the love of Christ, Christians are allowing the rage of man to influence them. The media that we listen to has much to do with it. Now, there are reasons to be angry today, but anger should not characterize our lives. It should not be said of you as a Christian that you are an angry or argumentative person. It should be said of you, however, that you are a kind person, that you have a gracious attitude. “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare” (Proverbs 22:24). Anger should not characterize our lives or the lives of those that we do life with—that are in a position to influence our lives. This is true of God.
God feels anger over the injustice He sees in our world. His anger not only moves Him to take righteous actions against injustice today, He will one day pour out His wrath in final judgment against all ungodliness and unrighteousness. But anger is not something that characterizes who God is. God is love. God is holy. God is not anger. His love and Holiness moves Him to experience feelings like anger and grief, but these feelings do not characterize Him or control Him. The bible says that God is slow to anger because of His great mercy and love. (Psalms 103:6-14).
Anger and rage may be the ruling emotion online. But if you desire to display the beauty of Christ in an ugly world, anger must not be the ruling emotion in your heart. We must learn to rule over our emotions or our emotions will rule over us, and bring shame to the name of Jesus. This is an important theme in the book of James. James exhorts believers to not only profess faith, but to live it out in ways that glorify Christ. The book of James does not teach that we’re saved by faith and works, but that we are saved by a faith that works--a faith that displays the beauty of Christ.
Emotions like anger were created by God to move us toward righteous actions. I want us to look at 4 steps that we need to take when we experience anger in order for this emotion to be constructive and not destructive to us and those around us.
1. Analyze the source of your rage/anger “for the anger of man…” (James 1:20)
When Paul refers to the anger of man, he's making a distinction, which implies that there's a different kind of anger that doesn’t produce the righteousness of God. It's vital that we understand the difference. Unfortunately, many Christians are confused about the distinctions in the bible regarding anger. Some believe that all anger is sin. Others correctly believe that anger can be righteous. So how can we know the difference?
When you get angry, it’s vital that we ask ourselves, “Where is this anger coming from?” And when you're analyzing your anger, you must consider both your inward response and your outward reaction.
Evaluate your inner response: In Ephesians 4:26 the bible says, “Be angry and do not sin…” Can you be angry and not sin? Yes! But let me emphasize that anger in the heart of fallen men is dangerous. It takes great diligence and spiritual maturity not to sin when we are angry. It's been said, “The way to be angry and sin not is to be angry at sin.” When you’re angry, you must evaluate your inward response. Why is your heart responding with disapproval, or displeasure? Is the object of your anger sin or self? If it’s sin, if it’s because of the injustice that you see around you, if it’s the abuse that you see being inflicted on a child, if it’s the violence in our city, it’s righteous anger.
When it is righteous anger, the heart may experience displeasure at sin, but it does not rejoice at the demise of an enemy. “Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles, lest the Lord see it and be displeased, and turn away his anger from him.” (Proverbs 24:17-18)
In view of Proverbs 24:17-18, how would you define righteous anger? Is it telling someone who has legitimately hurt you in some way, “I pray you rot in hell?” Righteous anger is a feeling of strong displeasure or disapproval at something that is unjust and sinful in the eyes of God. But if the source of your anger is self-centeredness, if you’re angry because you’re not getting your way, because your agenda is not being fulfilled, because you’re expectations are not being met, then your anger is what James describes as the anger of man and that kind of anger does not produce the righteousness of God. Confess it and forsake it. (James 3:13-18; 4:1-3).
Evaluate your outward reactions: When analyzing your anger you should look at not only your inner response, but your outward reaction. If what you're angry about is motivating you to take constructive action with the aim of seeing the righteousness and justice of God prevail, than it’s righteous anger. Keep in mind also that it’s not always our place to do something about the injustice that we perceive (Genesis 50:19-21). Is it right for us to feel an inward displeasure over the fact that 50,000 abortions are committed in this country every year? Yes! Is it right for us to display hostility to a woman who has committed an abortion in the past? No! Is it right for us in our disgust and displeasure toward the abortion industry, to conspire to blow up an abortion clinic or kill an abortionist doctor? No!
When analyzing your anger, first examine your inward response, am I displeased at something that is wrong or am I just being self-centered?mExamine your outward reaction. Are the actions that I seek to take constructive or destructive? Am I being used of God to do good, or am I taking the place of God?
2. Avoid being swift in your reaction
James writes, “let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19). There are times that the injustice that we see in our world calls for immediate action. If I walked into my home and an intruder was harming my wife, a thousand emotions are going to rise up inside of me (pain, fear, hot displeasure) and there’s going to be an immediate response. But my reaction, as a loving husband or a just Police Officer, should not be about inflicting as much pain as possible on the intruder. My actions should be about stopping the intruder from harming my wife.
So although there are times when we must be quick in our response to wrong and injustice, God requires us to be restrained in our actions. We should avoid a swift or sudden reaction when something makes us angry. Why? Because most of the time, even when we are right to feel strong displeasure or hurt, our immediate reaction or impulse is often unrighteous. Take some time to cool off. The words that we use when we are hot with anger are often destructive rather than restorative. If we discipline our children in the heat of anger, we may go too far or be too severe.
When you’re angry, be quick to listen, be slow to speak, and slow to anger. THINK before you speak. Talk to someone you trust about the anger that you feel and how you should respond or not. Don’t send that e-mail or text message without having a wise and godly person read it first. Most of the time our immediate angry reaction will do more damage than good.
3. Appeal to the subject for their restoration
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak…” (James 1:19). When we approach someone about a wrong that we perceive they’ve committed, we should allow for the possibility that we may be mistaken about what we perceive to be wrong. This is one reason why we need to be quick to hear and slow to speak. Also, be caring and not condemning in your approach. Notice how James makes his appeal to those he’s addressing: “Know this, my beloved brothers…” He didn’t write, "All you raging lunatics, listen up…”
The other day someone called me to share a concern with me. They started the conversation in a very disarming way, “Pastor, I apologize that I’m bringing this concern to you. Please know that I love and respect you. And please correct me, if I’m wrong.” Whatever tenseness I may have felt at the moment, the gracious words and loving tone of this person disarmed me. And we had a redeeming conversation. (2 Tim. 2:24-26).
If you have to confront someone about what you perceive to be wrong, the goal/aim is not to put that person in their place. It’s not, “I’m going to give that person a piece of my mind.” The goal should be restoration (Gal. 6:1). A constructive "confrontation is done in a way that expresses real love, the determination to pursue what is best for the other person and for the relationship between you.”
4. Act in the Spirit to be restrained
James writes, “for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls” (James 1:20-21). If you don’t get a hold of your anger, your actions will not only be unproductive, but potentially destructive. James implies that your actions will lead to all kinds of filthiness and rampant wickedness. In other words, things will get ugly. Have you ever wished you could take back words that you said in a fit of anger?
In order for anger to be constructive and not destructive in your life, you must gain control over it. Thankfully, if you’re saved, you don’t have to simply rely on your own will power; you have the Holy Spirit of God in you to help you to put the brakes on. Once again, James writes that the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. So if that's the case, what does produce the righteousness of God in our lives? The Spirit of God—Christ in us, living His life through us.
Paul writes in Galatians 5:22, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” Paul goes on to write that one of the works of the flesh is "fits of anger", which is the "anger of man" that James is talking about.
When we are not walking in the Spirit, but acting in the flesh, rather than being quick to hear, you will not care what others have to say. The only thing that matters is what you have to say. You won’t let anybody else talk. You won’t listen. When you’re not walking/acting in the Spirit, but in the flesh, you will not be slow to speak. You will be impulsive. You will not think before you speak and you will hurt people with your mean spirited words. When you’re acting in the flesh and not the Spirit, you will not be slow to wrath. You will be like a volcano ready to blow up. And you will do some serious damage to people around you, especially those who are closest to you and that love you the most.
The Spirit of God works most powerfully in our lives to transform us through the word of God. Notice that in our text James writes, “Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls” (James 1:21). You can't put away wickedness from your life, unless you put the word of God in your heart. If you want to practice on Monday what you said "amen" to on Sunday, you must allow the word of God to permeate your heart and mind daily. And when you read the bible you must understand that the word of God is not a self-help manual.
The bible’s primary purpose is to reveal to us the beauty of God in Christ. To reveal that to us, although we’ve sinned against Him and deserve His justifiable Holy wrath, He gave His only son for our sin so that all who believe could be saved, forgiven, and adopted into His family.
To overcome anger, we must glory in the transforming grace and goodness of God (2 Corinthians 3:18). As Daniel Henderson explained, “Anger is focused on our disappointment, feelings of injustice, and desire for payback. All of these can be countered by a deep understanding and affirmation of the goodness of God in all things. Even after a lifetime of repeated injustice, Joseph was able to say to his brothers who sold him into slavery, “But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good” (Genesis 50:20). Genuine gratitude can replace anger when we worship God in His goodness.”
This beautiful gospel implanted (daily) in our hearts not only saves us from Hell; it enables us to live the Christian life, to forgive others, to not give in to anger, to control our emotions, and to speak truth in love and gentleness to those who oppose us.
In your service,
Pastor Marco
God feels anger over the injustice He sees in our world. His anger not only moves Him to take righteous actions against injustice today, He will one day pour out His wrath in final judgment against all ungodliness and unrighteousness. But anger is not something that characterizes who God is. God is love. God is holy. God is not anger. His love and Holiness moves Him to experience feelings like anger and grief, but these feelings do not characterize Him or control Him. The bible says that God is slow to anger because of His great mercy and love. (Psalms 103:6-14).
Anger and rage may be the ruling emotion online. But if you desire to display the beauty of Christ in an ugly world, anger must not be the ruling emotion in your heart. We must learn to rule over our emotions or our emotions will rule over us, and bring shame to the name of Jesus. This is an important theme in the book of James. James exhorts believers to not only profess faith, but to live it out in ways that glorify Christ. The book of James does not teach that we’re saved by faith and works, but that we are saved by a faith that works--a faith that displays the beauty of Christ.
Emotions like anger were created by God to move us toward righteous actions. I want us to look at 4 steps that we need to take when we experience anger in order for this emotion to be constructive and not destructive to us and those around us.
1. Analyze the source of your rage/anger “for the anger of man…” (James 1:20)
When Paul refers to the anger of man, he's making a distinction, which implies that there's a different kind of anger that doesn’t produce the righteousness of God. It's vital that we understand the difference. Unfortunately, many Christians are confused about the distinctions in the bible regarding anger. Some believe that all anger is sin. Others correctly believe that anger can be righteous. So how can we know the difference?
When you get angry, it’s vital that we ask ourselves, “Where is this anger coming from?” And when you're analyzing your anger, you must consider both your inward response and your outward reaction.
Evaluate your inner response: In Ephesians 4:26 the bible says, “Be angry and do not sin…” Can you be angry and not sin? Yes! But let me emphasize that anger in the heart of fallen men is dangerous. It takes great diligence and spiritual maturity not to sin when we are angry. It's been said, “The way to be angry and sin not is to be angry at sin.” When you’re angry, you must evaluate your inward response. Why is your heart responding with disapproval, or displeasure? Is the object of your anger sin or self? If it’s sin, if it’s because of the injustice that you see around you, if it’s the abuse that you see being inflicted on a child, if it’s the violence in our city, it’s righteous anger.
When it is righteous anger, the heart may experience displeasure at sin, but it does not rejoice at the demise of an enemy. “Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles, lest the Lord see it and be displeased, and turn away his anger from him.” (Proverbs 24:17-18)
In view of Proverbs 24:17-18, how would you define righteous anger? Is it telling someone who has legitimately hurt you in some way, “I pray you rot in hell?” Righteous anger is a feeling of strong displeasure or disapproval at something that is unjust and sinful in the eyes of God. But if the source of your anger is self-centeredness, if you’re angry because you’re not getting your way, because your agenda is not being fulfilled, because you’re expectations are not being met, then your anger is what James describes as the anger of man and that kind of anger does not produce the righteousness of God. Confess it and forsake it. (James 3:13-18; 4:1-3).
Evaluate your outward reactions: When analyzing your anger you should look at not only your inner response, but your outward reaction. If what you're angry about is motivating you to take constructive action with the aim of seeing the righteousness and justice of God prevail, than it’s righteous anger. Keep in mind also that it’s not always our place to do something about the injustice that we perceive (Genesis 50:19-21). Is it right for us to feel an inward displeasure over the fact that 50,000 abortions are committed in this country every year? Yes! Is it right for us to display hostility to a woman who has committed an abortion in the past? No! Is it right for us in our disgust and displeasure toward the abortion industry, to conspire to blow up an abortion clinic or kill an abortionist doctor? No!
When analyzing your anger, first examine your inward response, am I displeased at something that is wrong or am I just being self-centered?mExamine your outward reaction. Are the actions that I seek to take constructive or destructive? Am I being used of God to do good, or am I taking the place of God?
2. Avoid being swift in your reaction
James writes, “let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19). There are times that the injustice that we see in our world calls for immediate action. If I walked into my home and an intruder was harming my wife, a thousand emotions are going to rise up inside of me (pain, fear, hot displeasure) and there’s going to be an immediate response. But my reaction, as a loving husband or a just Police Officer, should not be about inflicting as much pain as possible on the intruder. My actions should be about stopping the intruder from harming my wife.
So although there are times when we must be quick in our response to wrong and injustice, God requires us to be restrained in our actions. We should avoid a swift or sudden reaction when something makes us angry. Why? Because most of the time, even when we are right to feel strong displeasure or hurt, our immediate reaction or impulse is often unrighteous. Take some time to cool off. The words that we use when we are hot with anger are often destructive rather than restorative. If we discipline our children in the heat of anger, we may go too far or be too severe.
When you’re angry, be quick to listen, be slow to speak, and slow to anger. THINK before you speak. Talk to someone you trust about the anger that you feel and how you should respond or not. Don’t send that e-mail or text message without having a wise and godly person read it first. Most of the time our immediate angry reaction will do more damage than good.
3. Appeal to the subject for their restoration
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak…” (James 1:19). When we approach someone about a wrong that we perceive they’ve committed, we should allow for the possibility that we may be mistaken about what we perceive to be wrong. This is one reason why we need to be quick to hear and slow to speak. Also, be caring and not condemning in your approach. Notice how James makes his appeal to those he’s addressing: “Know this, my beloved brothers…” He didn’t write, "All you raging lunatics, listen up…”
The other day someone called me to share a concern with me. They started the conversation in a very disarming way, “Pastor, I apologize that I’m bringing this concern to you. Please know that I love and respect you. And please correct me, if I’m wrong.” Whatever tenseness I may have felt at the moment, the gracious words and loving tone of this person disarmed me. And we had a redeeming conversation. (2 Tim. 2:24-26).
If you have to confront someone about what you perceive to be wrong, the goal/aim is not to put that person in their place. It’s not, “I’m going to give that person a piece of my mind.” The goal should be restoration (Gal. 6:1). A constructive "confrontation is done in a way that expresses real love, the determination to pursue what is best for the other person and for the relationship between you.”
4. Act in the Spirit to be restrained
James writes, “for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls” (James 1:20-21). If you don’t get a hold of your anger, your actions will not only be unproductive, but potentially destructive. James implies that your actions will lead to all kinds of filthiness and rampant wickedness. In other words, things will get ugly. Have you ever wished you could take back words that you said in a fit of anger?
In order for anger to be constructive and not destructive in your life, you must gain control over it. Thankfully, if you’re saved, you don’t have to simply rely on your own will power; you have the Holy Spirit of God in you to help you to put the brakes on. Once again, James writes that the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. So if that's the case, what does produce the righteousness of God in our lives? The Spirit of God—Christ in us, living His life through us.
Paul writes in Galatians 5:22, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” Paul goes on to write that one of the works of the flesh is "fits of anger", which is the "anger of man" that James is talking about.
When we are not walking in the Spirit, but acting in the flesh, rather than being quick to hear, you will not care what others have to say. The only thing that matters is what you have to say. You won’t let anybody else talk. You won’t listen. When you’re not walking/acting in the Spirit, but in the flesh, you will not be slow to speak. You will be impulsive. You will not think before you speak and you will hurt people with your mean spirited words. When you’re acting in the flesh and not the Spirit, you will not be slow to wrath. You will be like a volcano ready to blow up. And you will do some serious damage to people around you, especially those who are closest to you and that love you the most.
The Spirit of God works most powerfully in our lives to transform us through the word of God. Notice that in our text James writes, “Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls” (James 1:21). You can't put away wickedness from your life, unless you put the word of God in your heart. If you want to practice on Monday what you said "amen" to on Sunday, you must allow the word of God to permeate your heart and mind daily. And when you read the bible you must understand that the word of God is not a self-help manual.
The bible’s primary purpose is to reveal to us the beauty of God in Christ. To reveal that to us, although we’ve sinned against Him and deserve His justifiable Holy wrath, He gave His only son for our sin so that all who believe could be saved, forgiven, and adopted into His family.
To overcome anger, we must glory in the transforming grace and goodness of God (2 Corinthians 3:18). As Daniel Henderson explained, “Anger is focused on our disappointment, feelings of injustice, and desire for payback. All of these can be countered by a deep understanding and affirmation of the goodness of God in all things. Even after a lifetime of repeated injustice, Joseph was able to say to his brothers who sold him into slavery, “But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good” (Genesis 50:20). Genuine gratitude can replace anger when we worship God in His goodness.”
This beautiful gospel implanted (daily) in our hearts not only saves us from Hell; it enables us to live the Christian life, to forgive others, to not give in to anger, to control our emotions, and to speak truth in love and gentleness to those who oppose us.
In your service,
Pastor Marco