Spiritual Fatherhood
When I was a young father, I heard Pastor David Jeremiah share a story in a message about the importance of fatherhood that stayed with me. When his children were growing up, he made a commitment to support them and encourage them by being physically present at their activities. This commitment was often tested. One day, as Pastor Jeremiah prepared to leave the church office for his son’s basketball game, he could tell that his secretary was having a difficult time dealing with someone who wanted to counsel with him about a personal crisis he was experiencing. Although there were other pastors available, he kept insisting that he needed to talk to Pastor Jeremiah right away. Finally, she said, “Pastor can’t see you today. He’s on the way out and is already late for his appointment.”
In order to exit the building, he had to walk through the lobby. The man who insisted on speaking to him was still in the lobby area. When he saw Pastor Jeremiah, he walked right up to him and said, “Where are you going?" When he explained that he was on his way to his son’s basketball game, the man threw a fit. At that moment Pastor Jeremiah believed that God gave him a word. He said to the man, “Sir, there are five guys upstairs who are pastors who can help you. My son only has one dad, and I’m out of here.” And he left.
In our text, Paul wrote to the struggling church in Corinth, “For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel” (1 Corinthians 4:14).
Although some of our relationships with others are cordial, they are not always very deep. In contrast, spiritual fathers and mothers go beyond mere words, they show their love in deeds and in truth. When everyone else seems to have given up on us, spiritual fathers and mothers are present in our lives. They love on us even when we are hard to love. They rejoice in our victories and grieve with us in our sorrows. They look out for our best interest without expecting anything in return. They are committed to our spiritual growth and well-being.
Spiritual fathers admonish their children in truth and love. After confronting the sin in the church that was rooted in pride and led to jealousy, strife, and division, Paul clarifies, “I do not write these things to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children” (1 Corinthians 4:14). Sometimes one of the hardest things to do is to confront others, especially those we love. It seems easier to just ignore the problem and we might even think it’s a loving thing to do. But a spiritual father will not turn a blind eye to things that are not right in the lives of those he loves.
As Jonathan Threlfall noted, “Someone who goes along with others, whatever they do, is a [blind] follower. Someone who tells others just what they want to hear is a [boastful] flatterer. Someone who tells others the truth—with love and loyalty—no matter what, is a [best] friend.”
There are a lot of parents today that feel that they need to protect their children from feeling shame. What a parent should be more concerned about is not that their child feels shame for a wrong they’ve committed, but that they feel no shame at all for what they do wrong. God designed the painful emotion of shame to alert us of the presence of sin so that we might seek His forgiveness, cleansing, and strength to forsake our sin. When we are experiencing appropriate shame for a wrong that we’ve committed, we are not to remain in a place of shame, hide our shame, or suppress shame. Instead, we are to take the right path out of shame and we must teach our children and those we disciple to do the same. The goal of our loving correction is not to keep our children or anyone else in shame, but to help motivate them to choose the right path out of shame, namely repentance and restoration in Christ.
Spiritual fathers and mothers assume responsibility for the spiritual development of their children in the faith. Paul continues, “For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel” (1 Corinthians 4:15). What Paul is saying here is that he was more than a guide to the Corinthians. They had plenty of guides. Everyone wants to give their two cents. But Paul was more than a guide; he was a father to them.
There were a lot of people in the Corinthian church giving direction about what was best for the church and who the church should follow. Some of these guides were leading the Corinthians away from the counter-cultural and gospel-centered ministry of the Apostle Paul. There were people in the church that would offer guidance, but they also wanted exclusive loyalty to the exclusion of others.
Paul, on the other hand, wanted the Corinthians to benefit from all true ministers of the gospel God sent their way to build up the church. The difference between the countless guides in the church and Paul, their father in the faith, was that the guides were more interested in the prominence they gained from giving guidance. Paul’s focus was on the best interests of others.
Notice that Paul says, “For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel” (1 Corinthians 4:15b). Many of the Corinthians came to Christ and were brought into the family of God under the gospel ministry and preaching of Paul. In that context, Paul explained, “I became your father.” What Paul is communicating is that just like a father feels a profound sense of responsibility when their child is born to provide for their needs, so too Paul felt responsible for the spiritual health of the church. In fact, he not only felt a profound sense of responsibility, he also assumed responsibility for the growth and health of the church. We have countless guides who will point the way, but few fathers who will lead the way.
A spiritual father's actions are consistent with their instructions. Paul continues: “I urge you, then, be imitators of me. That is why I sent you Timothy, my beloved and faithful child in the Lord, to remind you of my ways in Christ, as I teach them everywhere in every church” (1 Corinthians 4:16-17). Paul never said to those he ministered to, "do as I say not as I do." Rather he urged them to be imitators of his ways in Christ, not just his words. Paul’s walk was consistent with his talk.
Great damage has been done to the health and witness of the church by people who have been elevated to positions of leadership because of their giftedness, but lacked character and integrity. Sadly, in our entertainment-oriented and consumer-driven church culture, cleverness, style, and communication skills are celebrated and valued over integrity and faithfulness to the word of God. Paul, on the other hand, was the same man in his private life that he was in his public life. He practiced what he preached. Those in his inner circle, like Timothy, were impacted most not by Paul’s preaching, but by his way of life, his Christ-like character, and sacrificial love. In fact, it was the closeness that Timothy had with Paul, who was close to Christ, which helped to shape Timothy to become a faithful servant of Christ.
Spiritual fathers attend to the needs of their children in Christ and are personally present in their lives. Paul continues: “Some are arrogant, as though I were not coming to you. But I will come to you soon, if the Lord wills, and I will find out not the talk of these arrogant people but their power. For the kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in power.” (1 Corinthians 4:18-20). The church in Corinth had some arrogant egomaniacs in their congregation. Arrogant people have an exaggerated sense of their own self-importance. They are obsessively egotistical and self-centered. Since they think they know it all, they despise being told what to do and they shy away from any real accountability in their lives.
Those who were arrogantly criticizing Paul to lift themselves up were all talk. Paul lived it. As Warren Wiersbe noted, “Paul was prepared to back up his “talk” with power, with deeds that would reveal their sins and God’s holiness.” When God allowed it, Paul wanted to be personally present again with the Corinthian church. But his motivation wasn’t to wield his authority for selfish gain or because he needed his fans to feed his ego. He wanted to be present among them so that, like a loving father, he could be more attentive to their needs while modeling correct Christian conduct.
Spiritual fathers apply the discipline of the Lord in the authority and power of the Holy Spirit. After explaining that upon his return he would uncover whether or not the talk of the power-hungry critics in the church could be backed up by a kingdom empowered life style, Paul continued: “What do you wish? Shall I come to you with a rod, or with love in a spirit of gentleness?” (1 Corinthians 4:21)
A home without the loving discipline of parents will produce unhealthy children who despise authority and lack the moral restraint necessary to make wise choices in life. Likewise, to be a healthy church we need spiritual fathers who love us enough to confront us when we are on the wrong path and hold us accountable to make the changes necessary to get back on course to a life of faithfulness and obedience to God. (Proverbs 3:11-12)
Thank God for the spiritual mothers and fathers in our lives that are not just pointing the way, but leading the way. More than just a guide who imparts information, spiritual fathers and mothers pour themselves into their sons and daughters in the faith with truth and love.
Sisters in Christ, you need spiritual mothers in your life who will walk with you in close proximity, who will come alongside you, pray with you, listen to your deepest hurts and pains, counsel you, hold you accountable, and model for you correct Christian living.
Men, we need spiritual fathers who will not just give us a book to read, but who can read us, have heart to heart talks with us, and challenge us in word and by example to be the godly men that God calls us to be.
May we seek God to give us opportunities to become spiritual fathers and mothers to others in Christ through the gospel, for the good of our children, for the health of our church, and for the glory of Christ our Savior.
In your service,
Pastor Marco
In order to exit the building, he had to walk through the lobby. The man who insisted on speaking to him was still in the lobby area. When he saw Pastor Jeremiah, he walked right up to him and said, “Where are you going?" When he explained that he was on his way to his son’s basketball game, the man threw a fit. At that moment Pastor Jeremiah believed that God gave him a word. He said to the man, “Sir, there are five guys upstairs who are pastors who can help you. My son only has one dad, and I’m out of here.” And he left.
In our text, Paul wrote to the struggling church in Corinth, “For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel” (1 Corinthians 4:14).
Although some of our relationships with others are cordial, they are not always very deep. In contrast, spiritual fathers and mothers go beyond mere words, they show their love in deeds and in truth. When everyone else seems to have given up on us, spiritual fathers and mothers are present in our lives. They love on us even when we are hard to love. They rejoice in our victories and grieve with us in our sorrows. They look out for our best interest without expecting anything in return. They are committed to our spiritual growth and well-being.
Spiritual fathers admonish their children in truth and love. After confronting the sin in the church that was rooted in pride and led to jealousy, strife, and division, Paul clarifies, “I do not write these things to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children” (1 Corinthians 4:14). Sometimes one of the hardest things to do is to confront others, especially those we love. It seems easier to just ignore the problem and we might even think it’s a loving thing to do. But a spiritual father will not turn a blind eye to things that are not right in the lives of those he loves.
As Jonathan Threlfall noted, “Someone who goes along with others, whatever they do, is a [blind] follower. Someone who tells others just what they want to hear is a [boastful] flatterer. Someone who tells others the truth—with love and loyalty—no matter what, is a [best] friend.”
There are a lot of parents today that feel that they need to protect their children from feeling shame. What a parent should be more concerned about is not that their child feels shame for a wrong they’ve committed, but that they feel no shame at all for what they do wrong. God designed the painful emotion of shame to alert us of the presence of sin so that we might seek His forgiveness, cleansing, and strength to forsake our sin. When we are experiencing appropriate shame for a wrong that we’ve committed, we are not to remain in a place of shame, hide our shame, or suppress shame. Instead, we are to take the right path out of shame and we must teach our children and those we disciple to do the same. The goal of our loving correction is not to keep our children or anyone else in shame, but to help motivate them to choose the right path out of shame, namely repentance and restoration in Christ.
Spiritual fathers and mothers assume responsibility for the spiritual development of their children in the faith. Paul continues, “For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel” (1 Corinthians 4:15). What Paul is saying here is that he was more than a guide to the Corinthians. They had plenty of guides. Everyone wants to give their two cents. But Paul was more than a guide; he was a father to them.
There were a lot of people in the Corinthian church giving direction about what was best for the church and who the church should follow. Some of these guides were leading the Corinthians away from the counter-cultural and gospel-centered ministry of the Apostle Paul. There were people in the church that would offer guidance, but they also wanted exclusive loyalty to the exclusion of others.
Paul, on the other hand, wanted the Corinthians to benefit from all true ministers of the gospel God sent their way to build up the church. The difference between the countless guides in the church and Paul, their father in the faith, was that the guides were more interested in the prominence they gained from giving guidance. Paul’s focus was on the best interests of others.
Notice that Paul says, “For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel” (1 Corinthians 4:15b). Many of the Corinthians came to Christ and were brought into the family of God under the gospel ministry and preaching of Paul. In that context, Paul explained, “I became your father.” What Paul is communicating is that just like a father feels a profound sense of responsibility when their child is born to provide for their needs, so too Paul felt responsible for the spiritual health of the church. In fact, he not only felt a profound sense of responsibility, he also assumed responsibility for the growth and health of the church. We have countless guides who will point the way, but few fathers who will lead the way.
A spiritual father's actions are consistent with their instructions. Paul continues: “I urge you, then, be imitators of me. That is why I sent you Timothy, my beloved and faithful child in the Lord, to remind you of my ways in Christ, as I teach them everywhere in every church” (1 Corinthians 4:16-17). Paul never said to those he ministered to, "do as I say not as I do." Rather he urged them to be imitators of his ways in Christ, not just his words. Paul’s walk was consistent with his talk.
Great damage has been done to the health and witness of the church by people who have been elevated to positions of leadership because of their giftedness, but lacked character and integrity. Sadly, in our entertainment-oriented and consumer-driven church culture, cleverness, style, and communication skills are celebrated and valued over integrity and faithfulness to the word of God. Paul, on the other hand, was the same man in his private life that he was in his public life. He practiced what he preached. Those in his inner circle, like Timothy, were impacted most not by Paul’s preaching, but by his way of life, his Christ-like character, and sacrificial love. In fact, it was the closeness that Timothy had with Paul, who was close to Christ, which helped to shape Timothy to become a faithful servant of Christ.
Spiritual fathers attend to the needs of their children in Christ and are personally present in their lives. Paul continues: “Some are arrogant, as though I were not coming to you. But I will come to you soon, if the Lord wills, and I will find out not the talk of these arrogant people but their power. For the kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in power.” (1 Corinthians 4:18-20). The church in Corinth had some arrogant egomaniacs in their congregation. Arrogant people have an exaggerated sense of their own self-importance. They are obsessively egotistical and self-centered. Since they think they know it all, they despise being told what to do and they shy away from any real accountability in their lives.
Those who were arrogantly criticizing Paul to lift themselves up were all talk. Paul lived it. As Warren Wiersbe noted, “Paul was prepared to back up his “talk” with power, with deeds that would reveal their sins and God’s holiness.” When God allowed it, Paul wanted to be personally present again with the Corinthian church. But his motivation wasn’t to wield his authority for selfish gain or because he needed his fans to feed his ego. He wanted to be present among them so that, like a loving father, he could be more attentive to their needs while modeling correct Christian conduct.
Spiritual fathers apply the discipline of the Lord in the authority and power of the Holy Spirit. After explaining that upon his return he would uncover whether or not the talk of the power-hungry critics in the church could be backed up by a kingdom empowered life style, Paul continued: “What do you wish? Shall I come to you with a rod, or with love in a spirit of gentleness?” (1 Corinthians 4:21)
A home without the loving discipline of parents will produce unhealthy children who despise authority and lack the moral restraint necessary to make wise choices in life. Likewise, to be a healthy church we need spiritual fathers who love us enough to confront us when we are on the wrong path and hold us accountable to make the changes necessary to get back on course to a life of faithfulness and obedience to God. (Proverbs 3:11-12)
Thank God for the spiritual mothers and fathers in our lives that are not just pointing the way, but leading the way. More than just a guide who imparts information, spiritual fathers and mothers pour themselves into their sons and daughters in the faith with truth and love.
Sisters in Christ, you need spiritual mothers in your life who will walk with you in close proximity, who will come alongside you, pray with you, listen to your deepest hurts and pains, counsel you, hold you accountable, and model for you correct Christian living.
Men, we need spiritual fathers who will not just give us a book to read, but who can read us, have heart to heart talks with us, and challenge us in word and by example to be the godly men that God calls us to be.
May we seek God to give us opportunities to become spiritual fathers and mothers to others in Christ through the gospel, for the good of our children, for the health of our church, and for the glory of Christ our Savior.
In your service,
Pastor Marco