Returning to your First Love
The word of God, not our emotions, should be our ultimate guide in life. But though our emotions are not always a reliable guide, they serve as a vital gauge to our spiritual health. Although the church of Ephesus was doing some good things, they were doing them out of duty, not out of love. And due to the absence of love, Christ’s overall assessment of the church in Revelation 2:1-7 was that it was in grave danger. Because the church was not emotionally healthy, they were spiritually dying. The lights were about to be cut off.
But in addition to His evaluation of the church's poor emotional health, Jesus also gave them a prescription for returning to an emotionally healthy condition, which would enable them to continue to shine for Christ in a dark place. After pointing out the problem in the church of Ephesus, namely that they had abandoned the love they had at first, Jesus gives a threefold remedy for the problem. The first thing He instructs the church to do is to remember: “Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first...” (Revelation 2:5a)
If you’ve come into a saving relationship with God through faith in the finished work of Christ, let me ask you, how would you describe the condition of your relationship with God? Are you growing in your love relationship with God or have you lapsed into just going through the motions of religion? Do you have a passion for God or have you become passive, even apathetic? If you know that you are not where you once were in your relationship with God, then you need to remember from where you have fallen. That’s the first step that Jesus tells the church of Ephesus to take—a church that allowed their love for God to grow cold.
Remember what it was like when your heart was on fire for God and the things of God. Remember how grateful you were for what Jesus had done for you. Remember the intentional investment you were making in your relationship with God that perhaps you’re neglecting now.
Do you pray like you did when your heart was on fire for God? Are you in God’s word regularly? Are you just reading the word to check a box, or do you take time to meditate on the word, pray the word, and journal about what God is saying to your heart? We need to do more than just search the scriptures, we need to allow the scriptures to search us.
Are you investing in others to help them grow in the Lord and allowing others to invest in you? We fan the flame of love and joy in our hearts by reminding each other of who God is and what He’s done in our lives.
Secondly, Jesus tells the church of Ephesus to repent. Repentance means a change of mind that leads to a change of actions. Nothing is going to change in our relationship with God or others until we change. Stop thinking that everybody else needs to change, including your spouse, and start seeking God to change you from the inside out.
And that inside-out change starts with a change of mind. Allow God through His Word to daily correct your faulty thinking, and pray for God to align your heart with His.
Lastly, Jesus tells the church of Ephesus—a church that has grown cold in their love, to do the works you did at first. In other words, He instructed the church to return to the acts of love that they did when their hearts were on fire for God.
God created us to experience emotions and feelings. Emotions and feelings can be wonderful. But the problem is that our feelings and emotions fluctuate. Although they can be a great gauge to our spiritual health, they are not always the best guide. So, we should not wait until we feel like praying or reading our bibles before we start doing so.
When I had cancer and was receiving chemo therapy, there were times that I didn’t have much of an appetite. But even though I didn’t have an appetite, felt nauseous, and my taste buds were shot, the doctor said I needed to eat. My body needed physical nourishment, especially because of the toxic chemo in my body.
Similarly, if you don’t have a deeply emotional longing and desire to spend time with God in His word, it could be that there are some spiritually toxic things going on in your heart that’s killing your spiritual appetite. But the fact that you don’t feel like getting into the word, which is an indication that you’re not spiritual healthy, is all the more reason why you need to get into God’s word. We must feast on the word to live. And when we do, we will come to a place where we will live to feast.
Again, to renew our love for God, or to keep our love from waning, we must remember. To remember we must be reminded. We must not only recall to mind what the Lord has done for us, we must daily renew our minds in the truth of who Jesus is. Notice that after giving the Ephesian church the prescription to renewing their first love, Jesus said, “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches” (Revelations 2:7a).
Beloved, the indwelling Holy Spirit produces in us healthy emotions when our thoughts are shaped by the truth of His word. What’s more, Holy Spirit-generated healthy emotions will impact our outward behavior. “Emotional reactions are essentially outward expressions of what is going on inwardly.” -Daniel Henderson
What you set your mind on the most, is what you love the most. And what you love most will control your actions. Whatever captures your mind, will capture your affections and your affections will determine your actions.
What do you set your mind on the most? If our love for God is diminishing, we must return to the first works, especially communion with God, whether we feel like it or not. We must get alone with God in stillness and silence. We must give Him our undivided attention. We must make time for the Spirit to speak to our hearts through the word and heal our damaged emotions. When we do, in time, our love for God will be reignited.
And the same is true in marriage. I appreciate what Tim Keller wrote about this: “In any relationship, there will be frightening spells in which your feelings of love dry up. And when that happens you must remember that the essence of marriage is that it is a covenant, a commitment, a promise of future love. So, what do you do? You do the acts of love, despite your lack of feeling. You may not feel tender, sympathetic, and eager to please, but in your actions, you must BE tender, understanding, forgiving and helpful. And, if you do that, as time goes on you will not only get through the dry spells, but they will become less frequent and deep, and you will become more constant in your feelings. This is what can happen if you decide to love.” (Timothy J. Keller, The Meaning of Marriage)
To cultivate healthy emotions rooted in love we must do the works we did at first. We must make intentional investments in our horizontal relationships in our homes, friendships, churches, and especially our marriages.
We must put first things first. We must express our love and feelings. We must be present. We must make time for heart to heart communication. We need to do acts of service. We need to give appropriate physical affection. We must be tender, thoughtful, and considerate of one another. We must pray for one another and with one another.
If the fire in your marriage has gone out, don’t wait for a feeling to act. Decide to love. Make the investments and in time the feelings will catch up. While you make those investments in your horizontal relationships, remember that you’ll never know how to fully love until you find that God’s love is enough.
What is the emotional condition of your relationship with God? Do you have a deeply affectionate and joy filled relationship with Jesus or are you just going through the motions of religion?
A relationship with God begins by receiving Christ as Savior and Lord who died in our place so that we can be forgiven of our sin and be reconciled to God. If you have a relationship with God, have you been growing in your love for God or is your love waning? If your love is diminishing, remember were you once where, repent and return to the acts of love you did at first.
Don’t let your light go out. Look to the Spirit to help you intentionally keep the emotional fire in the lamp of your heart burning for Jesus so that you can continue to shine for Him in a cold and dark world.
In your service,
Pastor Marco
But in addition to His evaluation of the church's poor emotional health, Jesus also gave them a prescription for returning to an emotionally healthy condition, which would enable them to continue to shine for Christ in a dark place. After pointing out the problem in the church of Ephesus, namely that they had abandoned the love they had at first, Jesus gives a threefold remedy for the problem. The first thing He instructs the church to do is to remember: “Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first...” (Revelation 2:5a)
If you’ve come into a saving relationship with God through faith in the finished work of Christ, let me ask you, how would you describe the condition of your relationship with God? Are you growing in your love relationship with God or have you lapsed into just going through the motions of religion? Do you have a passion for God or have you become passive, even apathetic? If you know that you are not where you once were in your relationship with God, then you need to remember from where you have fallen. That’s the first step that Jesus tells the church of Ephesus to take—a church that allowed their love for God to grow cold.
Remember what it was like when your heart was on fire for God and the things of God. Remember how grateful you were for what Jesus had done for you. Remember the intentional investment you were making in your relationship with God that perhaps you’re neglecting now.
Do you pray like you did when your heart was on fire for God? Are you in God’s word regularly? Are you just reading the word to check a box, or do you take time to meditate on the word, pray the word, and journal about what God is saying to your heart? We need to do more than just search the scriptures, we need to allow the scriptures to search us.
Are you investing in others to help them grow in the Lord and allowing others to invest in you? We fan the flame of love and joy in our hearts by reminding each other of who God is and what He’s done in our lives.
Secondly, Jesus tells the church of Ephesus to repent. Repentance means a change of mind that leads to a change of actions. Nothing is going to change in our relationship with God or others until we change. Stop thinking that everybody else needs to change, including your spouse, and start seeking God to change you from the inside out.
And that inside-out change starts with a change of mind. Allow God through His Word to daily correct your faulty thinking, and pray for God to align your heart with His.
Lastly, Jesus tells the church of Ephesus—a church that has grown cold in their love, to do the works you did at first. In other words, He instructed the church to return to the acts of love that they did when their hearts were on fire for God.
God created us to experience emotions and feelings. Emotions and feelings can be wonderful. But the problem is that our feelings and emotions fluctuate. Although they can be a great gauge to our spiritual health, they are not always the best guide. So, we should not wait until we feel like praying or reading our bibles before we start doing so.
When I had cancer and was receiving chemo therapy, there were times that I didn’t have much of an appetite. But even though I didn’t have an appetite, felt nauseous, and my taste buds were shot, the doctor said I needed to eat. My body needed physical nourishment, especially because of the toxic chemo in my body.
Similarly, if you don’t have a deeply emotional longing and desire to spend time with God in His word, it could be that there are some spiritually toxic things going on in your heart that’s killing your spiritual appetite. But the fact that you don’t feel like getting into the word, which is an indication that you’re not spiritual healthy, is all the more reason why you need to get into God’s word. We must feast on the word to live. And when we do, we will come to a place where we will live to feast.
Again, to renew our love for God, or to keep our love from waning, we must remember. To remember we must be reminded. We must not only recall to mind what the Lord has done for us, we must daily renew our minds in the truth of who Jesus is. Notice that after giving the Ephesian church the prescription to renewing their first love, Jesus said, “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches” (Revelations 2:7a).
Beloved, the indwelling Holy Spirit produces in us healthy emotions when our thoughts are shaped by the truth of His word. What’s more, Holy Spirit-generated healthy emotions will impact our outward behavior. “Emotional reactions are essentially outward expressions of what is going on inwardly.” -Daniel Henderson
What you set your mind on the most, is what you love the most. And what you love most will control your actions. Whatever captures your mind, will capture your affections and your affections will determine your actions.
What do you set your mind on the most? If our love for God is diminishing, we must return to the first works, especially communion with God, whether we feel like it or not. We must get alone with God in stillness and silence. We must give Him our undivided attention. We must make time for the Spirit to speak to our hearts through the word and heal our damaged emotions. When we do, in time, our love for God will be reignited.
And the same is true in marriage. I appreciate what Tim Keller wrote about this: “In any relationship, there will be frightening spells in which your feelings of love dry up. And when that happens you must remember that the essence of marriage is that it is a covenant, a commitment, a promise of future love. So, what do you do? You do the acts of love, despite your lack of feeling. You may not feel tender, sympathetic, and eager to please, but in your actions, you must BE tender, understanding, forgiving and helpful. And, if you do that, as time goes on you will not only get through the dry spells, but they will become less frequent and deep, and you will become more constant in your feelings. This is what can happen if you decide to love.” (Timothy J. Keller, The Meaning of Marriage)
To cultivate healthy emotions rooted in love we must do the works we did at first. We must make intentional investments in our horizontal relationships in our homes, friendships, churches, and especially our marriages.
We must put first things first. We must express our love and feelings. We must be present. We must make time for heart to heart communication. We need to do acts of service. We need to give appropriate physical affection. We must be tender, thoughtful, and considerate of one another. We must pray for one another and with one another.
If the fire in your marriage has gone out, don’t wait for a feeling to act. Decide to love. Make the investments and in time the feelings will catch up. While you make those investments in your horizontal relationships, remember that you’ll never know how to fully love until you find that God’s love is enough.
What is the emotional condition of your relationship with God? Do you have a deeply affectionate and joy filled relationship with Jesus or are you just going through the motions of religion?
A relationship with God begins by receiving Christ as Savior and Lord who died in our place so that we can be forgiven of our sin and be reconciled to God. If you have a relationship with God, have you been growing in your love for God or is your love waning? If your love is diminishing, remember were you once where, repent and return to the acts of love you did at first.
Don’t let your light go out. Look to the Spirit to help you intentionally keep the emotional fire in the lamp of your heart burning for Jesus so that you can continue to shine for Him in a cold and dark world.
In your service,
Pastor Marco