Conflict Can Be An Opportunity
I heard the great preacher Adrian Rogers once say, “There’s no problem too big for God to solve, just people too small to solve them.”
Problems, disagreements, and conflicts will inevitably arise in our relationships with people. Relationships are made up of people and people are not only flawed, but they don’t always see things the same. People have different tastes, preferences, and points of view and all these can lead to disagreements or conflicts.
When addressing the church of Corinth, a church fractured by conflict and division, Paul wrote:
Notably, Paul doesn’t rebuke the church for the grievances that people had, but rather the way in which they went about trying to resolve them. To their shame and the dishonor of Christ, who they professed to follow, believers in the church were turning to unbelievers in the world to settle their conflicts. I want to suggest to you that the mark of spiritual maturity is not the absence of disagreements or conflicts in our relationships, but it’s how we go about resolving our differences that demonstrates whether Christ reigns supreme in our hearts and lives.
In his book, Possible, How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict, William Ury wrote, “If you’re asking, 'Who’s winning this marriage?,' your marriage is probably in serious difficulty.” What Ury is suggesting here applies not only in marriage, but to almost any kind of relationship conflict.
If you’re anything like me, you don’t enjoy conflict. Moreover, you stress over having to deal with conflict. But the truth is when handled correctly, conflict can be a compelling opportunity to not only display the love of Christ, but to grow in His love as we lean hard on Him.
Conflict resolution in general is often very challenging, and as a Christian leader, there are additional issues that can add to the stress of it all. Christian leaders are often called upon to mediate conflicts and because they are often making decisions that affect a lot of people, they are also often the source of a person's or group’s grievances. What’s more; leaders are human too.
Recently, I came across an article by Carey Nieuwhof that contained some helpful tips for getting us started on a path towards resolving conflict in a Christ honoring way:
When writing to the church in Rome, Paul gave this rapid fire list of virtues that we must strive to embrace, especially in seeking to deal with conflict the Jesus-way:
Again, if you’re like me, you would rather put off dealing with conflict. But remember, there’s no problem too big for God to solve, just people too small to solve them. Don’t avoid it. See conflict as an opportunity to show and grow in the love of Jesus. Lean hard on Him and He will see you through to the glory of His name.
In your service,
Pastor Marco
Problems, disagreements, and conflicts will inevitably arise in our relationships with people. Relationships are made up of people and people are not only flawed, but they don’t always see things the same. People have different tastes, preferences, and points of view and all these can lead to disagreements or conflicts.
When addressing the church of Corinth, a church fractured by conflict and division, Paul wrote:
“When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints? Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases?“ 1 Corinthians 6:1-2
Notably, Paul doesn’t rebuke the church for the grievances that people had, but rather the way in which they went about trying to resolve them. To their shame and the dishonor of Christ, who they professed to follow, believers in the church were turning to unbelievers in the world to settle their conflicts. I want to suggest to you that the mark of spiritual maturity is not the absence of disagreements or conflicts in our relationships, but it’s how we go about resolving our differences that demonstrates whether Christ reigns supreme in our hearts and lives.
In his book, Possible, How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict, William Ury wrote, “If you’re asking, 'Who’s winning this marriage?,' your marriage is probably in serious difficulty.” What Ury is suggesting here applies not only in marriage, but to almost any kind of relationship conflict.
If you’re anything like me, you don’t enjoy conflict. Moreover, you stress over having to deal with conflict. But the truth is when handled correctly, conflict can be a compelling opportunity to not only display the love of Christ, but to grow in His love as we lean hard on Him.
Conflict resolution in general is often very challenging, and as a Christian leader, there are additional issues that can add to the stress of it all. Christian leaders are often called upon to mediate conflicts and because they are often making decisions that affect a lot of people, they are also often the source of a person's or group’s grievances. What’s more; leaders are human too.
Recently, I came across an article by Carey Nieuwhof that contained some helpful tips for getting us started on a path towards resolving conflict in a Christ honoring way:
- "Always handle conflict face-to-face or over a video call. Even if conflict starts over email, Slack, or text, meeting for a discussion in person will allow you to see expressions and non-verbal queues, leading to a greater chance of resolving the issue in a peaceful way.
- Acknowledge the power dynamic. You may like to think of yourself as 'one of the team,' but that isn't the reality because they don't view it that way. Your power will influence the conflict, and you need to make sure you cultivate humility, create space for open communication, and use your power to serve.
- Use the HALT rule. If you're feeling Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired, it's not the time to address any kind of conflict. Get a good night's sleep. Pray about it. Confer with a friend if you need to. Then respond. Your delay just might save the situation.”
When writing to the church in Rome, Paul gave this rapid fire list of virtues that we must strive to embrace, especially in seeking to deal with conflict the Jesus-way:
“Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. 17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:9-21
Again, if you’re like me, you would rather put off dealing with conflict. But remember, there’s no problem too big for God to solve, just people too small to solve them. Don’t avoid it. See conflict as an opportunity to show and grow in the love of Jesus. Lean hard on Him and He will see you through to the glory of His name.
In your service,
Pastor Marco