Do you love Me?
“When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” John 21:15
It’s common knowledge that during the earthly ministry of Jesus, His disciple Peter had an elevated view of self. Among all the other disciples, he was the most vocal, self-confident, and egotistical of them all. When Jesus prophesied to His disciples, “You will all fall away because of me this night…” Peter answered him, “Though they all fall away because of you, I will never fall away.”” (Matthew 26:31, 33)
In our modern day, self-confidence and high self-esteem would appear to be a mark of a great leader. But in the kingdom of God, great leaders are marked not by self-confidence, but by humility and dependence upon the grace of God. Jesus said, “The greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” (Matthew 23:11-12)
In his insightful booklet, The Freedom of self-forgetfulness, Tim Keller observed:
When we have an overinflated ego, we feel that we are entitled to more, or that we deserve more. We don’t just want more; we want more than what others have. A person with an overinflated ego is constantly comparing him/herself with others and thus is never satisfied.
Regarding the problem of pride, in Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis points out that pride is by nature competitive.
Elaborating on C.S. Lewis thoughts on pride, Timothy Keller explains:
Now why did Jesus ask Peter in the company of his other disciples the question, "do you love me more than these?" Some believe that Jesus was referring to the fish they had caught. If you recall, after Jesus was arrested, self-confident Peter had denied the Lord three times. These denials deflated Peter’s overinflated ego. And although Jesus had resurrected and appeared to His disciples, Peter appears to have lost all motivation to fulfill the call of God upon his life. Perhaps he felt that because he failed the Lord, he could not be useful in ministry any longer.
So Peter went back to doing what he was familiar with, namely fishing, and the other disciples went along. But while they were having a bad fishing day (they caught nothing), the Lord appears to them on the shore and instructs them to cast the net on the right side of the ship. And after casting the net, “they were not able to haul it in, because of the quantity of fish.” (John 21:6)
Having experienced this miracle, they knew that it was Jesus instructing them from the shore and they all came to Him. Later when they were done having breakfast with Jesus, which He graciously fixed, Jesus asked Peter the question, "do you love me more than these?"
Now, in order to understand why Jesus asked Peter this question, it’s important to consider what Jesus was comparing Peter’s love too. I want to suggest to you that Jesus wasn’t asking Peter if he loved him more than these fish but whether Peter loved him more than these other fisherman. You see, that was Peter's hangup all along. He was constantly comparing himself with others and wanting to prove that he was better.
In fact, this ego problem surfaced again while Jesus spoke to Peter on the shore. After asking Peter three times if he loved him and also prophesying that Peter would one day give his life for the cause of Christ, Peter saw John (the apostle whom Jesus loved) leaning on Jesus, and asked, “Lord, what about this man?” Jesus said to him, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!” (John 21:21-22)
In light of the competitive drive of Peter, I want to propose that Jesus asked if he loved Him more than these because He wanted Peter to stop measuring his love, his performance, and his value against the other disciples and just focus on the Lord.
Notice that in response to Jesus’ question, Peter didn’t say, “You know I love you more than these other disciples, including John.” Or, “I know I messed up, but I’m going to prove to you that I love you more than the rest.” Peter responded:“Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” (John 21:15)
Peter didn’t need to love Jesus more than the others; he just need to love Jesus.
I appreciate one retired Pastors assessment:
O how we need to find our identity, our security, and our acceptance in the love of Jesus. If you’ve trusted Him as your Lord and Savior, nothing can ever separate you from His love. Live to know His love more deeply and to be secure in it more fully as you pursue intimacy with Him in prayer and in the word. You don’t have to perform to have His love. You already have it. Let His love free you from the performance and comparison trap.
Do you hear the Lord asking you today, “Do you love me?” May your answer to the Lord’s question restore you as He intended it to restore Peter.
In your service,
Pastor Marco
It’s common knowledge that during the earthly ministry of Jesus, His disciple Peter had an elevated view of self. Among all the other disciples, he was the most vocal, self-confident, and egotistical of them all. When Jesus prophesied to His disciples, “You will all fall away because of me this night…” Peter answered him, “Though they all fall away because of you, I will never fall away.”” (Matthew 26:31, 33)
In our modern day, self-confidence and high self-esteem would appear to be a mark of a great leader. But in the kingdom of God, great leaders are marked not by self-confidence, but by humility and dependence upon the grace of God. Jesus said, “The greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” (Matthew 23:11-12)
In his insightful booklet, The Freedom of self-forgetfulness, Tim Keller observed:
“Up until the twentieth century, traditional cultures (and this is still true of most cultures in the world) always believed that too high a view of yourself was the root cause of all the evil in the world. What is the reason for most of the crime and violence in the world? Why are people abused? Why are people cruel? Why do people do the bad things they do?
Traditionally, the answer was hubris - the Greek word meaning “pride" or too high a view of yourself. Traditionally, that was the reason given for why people misbehave. But, in our modern western culture, we have developed an utterly opposite cultural consensus. The basis of contemporary education, the way we treat incarcerated prisoners, the foundation of most modern legislation and the starting point for modern counseling is exactly the opposite of the traditional consensus. Our belief today – and it is deeply rooted in everything –is that people misbehave for lack of self-esteem and because they have too low a view of themselves. For example, the reason husbands beat their wives and the reason people are criminals is because they have too low a view of themselves. People used to think it was because they had too high a view of themselves and had too much self-esteem. Now we say it is because we have too little self-esteem.”
When we have an overinflated ego, we feel that we are entitled to more, or that we deserve more. We don’t just want more; we want more than what others have. A person with an overinflated ego is constantly comparing him/herself with others and thus is never satisfied.
Regarding the problem of pride, in Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis points out that pride is by nature competitive.
“It is competitiveness that is at the very heart of pride. Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next person. We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good-looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, or cleverer, or better-looking than others. If everyone else became equally rich, or clever, or good-looking there would be nothing to be proud about.”
Elaborating on C.S. Lewis thoughts on pride, Timothy Keller explains:
“We are only proud of being more successful, more intelligent or more good-looking than the next person, and when we are in the presence of someone who is more successful, intelligent and good-looking than we are, we lose all pleasure in what we had. That is because we really had no pleasure in it. We were proud of it. As Lewis says, pride is the pleasure of having more than the next person. Pride is the pleasure of being more than the “next person.”
Now why did Jesus ask Peter in the company of his other disciples the question, "do you love me more than these?" Some believe that Jesus was referring to the fish they had caught. If you recall, after Jesus was arrested, self-confident Peter had denied the Lord three times. These denials deflated Peter’s overinflated ego. And although Jesus had resurrected and appeared to His disciples, Peter appears to have lost all motivation to fulfill the call of God upon his life. Perhaps he felt that because he failed the Lord, he could not be useful in ministry any longer.
So Peter went back to doing what he was familiar with, namely fishing, and the other disciples went along. But while they were having a bad fishing day (they caught nothing), the Lord appears to them on the shore and instructs them to cast the net on the right side of the ship. And after casting the net, “they were not able to haul it in, because of the quantity of fish.” (John 21:6)
Having experienced this miracle, they knew that it was Jesus instructing them from the shore and they all came to Him. Later when they were done having breakfast with Jesus, which He graciously fixed, Jesus asked Peter the question, "do you love me more than these?"
Now, in order to understand why Jesus asked Peter this question, it’s important to consider what Jesus was comparing Peter’s love too. I want to suggest to you that Jesus wasn’t asking Peter if he loved him more than these fish but whether Peter loved him more than these other fisherman. You see, that was Peter's hangup all along. He was constantly comparing himself with others and wanting to prove that he was better.
In fact, this ego problem surfaced again while Jesus spoke to Peter on the shore. After asking Peter three times if he loved him and also prophesying that Peter would one day give his life for the cause of Christ, Peter saw John (the apostle whom Jesus loved) leaning on Jesus, and asked, “Lord, what about this man?” Jesus said to him, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!” (John 21:21-22)
In light of the competitive drive of Peter, I want to propose that Jesus asked if he loved Him more than these because He wanted Peter to stop measuring his love, his performance, and his value against the other disciples and just focus on the Lord.
Notice that in response to Jesus’ question, Peter didn’t say, “You know I love you more than these other disciples, including John.” Or, “I know I messed up, but I’m going to prove to you that I love you more than the rest.” Peter responded:“Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” (John 21:15)
Peter didn’t need to love Jesus more than the others; he just need to love Jesus.
I appreciate one retired Pastors assessment:
"Comparisons plague pastors. We’re not supposed to do it, of course, except for edification purposes, but who hasn’t? When we stand knee-deep in the sludge of greater-than, more-committed-than, and more-strategic-than, Jesus’ question will call us out, “Yes, but do you love me more than these?” We blush, clear our throat, and stammer, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” If we have any sense at all—any recollection of our failures—we do not reply, “You know I love you more than they do."
Simon’s faith, like ours perhaps, had been infected with hubris. Then he’d been broken and bloodied from his denials. Jesus’ questions carried the antibiotic. Jesus asked His question “Do you love me?” three times, but only added “more than these,” the first time. I suspect that’s all it took for him to surgically excise Peter’s cancerous self-confidence once and for all.
Peter’s mad dash through the water to Jesus demonstrated his love even before he spoke it. Jesus knew Peter loved him. He knows our love too. But his healing questions, asked again and again and again, wait for answers that restore our souls and make space for grace. Then we can turn back to our shepherding work free of comparisons.” -Lee Eclov
O how we need to find our identity, our security, and our acceptance in the love of Jesus. If you’ve trusted Him as your Lord and Savior, nothing can ever separate you from His love. Live to know His love more deeply and to be secure in it more fully as you pursue intimacy with Him in prayer and in the word. You don’t have to perform to have His love. You already have it. Let His love free you from the performance and comparison trap.
Do you hear the Lord asking you today, “Do you love me?” May your answer to the Lord’s question restore you as He intended it to restore Peter.
In your service,
Pastor Marco