Love, Discern, and Restore
“For I do not want to see you now just in passing. I hope to spend some time with you, if the Lord permits…I rejoice at the coming of Stephanas and Fortunatus and Achaicus, because they have made up for your absence, for they refreshed my spirit as well as yours. Give recognition to such people.” 1 Corinthians 16:7, 17-18
Have you ever felt the sting of a broken friendship, wondering how to love again without getting hurt? Relationships are God’s design for us, yet they can be fraught with challenges. Created to reflect God’s relational heart, we thrive in life-giving connections that refresh our souls. Paul's words in 1 Corinthians reveal this truth. Although he longed to “spend some time” with the Corinthians, he didn’t just want to pass through (1 Corinthians 16:7).
Concerning Stephanas, Fortunatus, and Achaicus visits, Paul wrote, “they refreshed my spirit as well as yours.” These brothers filled the void of absence with joy. Likewise, we need such friends and we’re called to be such friends to others.
Yet relationships can be messy and complex. Although he sacrifices so much to bring them the gospel, and build them up in the Lord, the Corinthians wounded Paul. They questioned his authority and sowed disunity. But despite their flaws, Paul didn’t reject them. Rather, he wrote to them, expressing love while calling them to repentance.
This Christ-like example is both a challenge and a lesson for us. We need friends, and we need to be friends, but offenses can strain our bonds. Pride, unforgiveness, or isolation can tempt us to shut others out, while hurt may make us wary of trusting them again. We’re called to forgive, but forgiveness doesn’t always mean immediate, unguarded trust. Trust must be earned through repentance and time.And discernment from above is key.
How do we guard our hearts without falling into passive-aggressiveness? Passive-aggressiveness breeds bitterness, using silence or subtle hostility to punish others. It closes doors to healing. Godly discernment, however, prays for those who have hurt us, shows kindness, and waits on God’s timing for restoration. Paul loved the Corinthians but was wise in how he planned his visits. He wrote, “I hope to spend some time with you, if the Lord permits." Paul wanted to be sure his heart aligned with God’s will. But even when he urged breaking fellowship with the unrepentant, he called for admonishing them as brothers, keeping hope alive for reconciliation (2 Corinthians 2:5-8).
As you likely have figured out, we can’t love like this in our own strength. For this reason, Paul closed his letter with a prayer for God’s grace to be with the Corinthians, knowing only grace could heal their disunity (1 Corinthians 16:23).
Paul affirmed, “My love be with you all in Christ Jesus,” showing that his love for them, (flaws and all), was rooted in Christ’s love. Our first calling isn’t to serve but to know God intimately. As we draw near to Him, His grace overflows, enabling us to love others, discern wisely, and build life-giving relationships.
Cultivating friendships that honor the Lord starts by praising God for His pursuit of you in Christ. Moreover, we must acknowledge our need for others--resisting our craving for isolation that especially arises when we’re hurt. When hurt comes, forgive, but seek God’s wisdom to know who can hold your heart safely. Pray for those who have wounded you, asking God to uproot bitterness and guide your steps. Be a friend like Stephanas, refreshing others with love. And lean hard on Jesus whose grace is the source of your strength to love, discern, and remain open to restoration without compromising truth.
Have you ever felt the sting of a broken friendship, wondering how to love again without getting hurt? Relationships are God’s design for us, yet they can be fraught with challenges. Created to reflect God’s relational heart, we thrive in life-giving connections that refresh our souls. Paul's words in 1 Corinthians reveal this truth. Although he longed to “spend some time” with the Corinthians, he didn’t just want to pass through (1 Corinthians 16:7).
Concerning Stephanas, Fortunatus, and Achaicus visits, Paul wrote, “they refreshed my spirit as well as yours.” These brothers filled the void of absence with joy. Likewise, we need such friends and we’re called to be such friends to others.
Yet relationships can be messy and complex. Although he sacrifices so much to bring them the gospel, and build them up in the Lord, the Corinthians wounded Paul. They questioned his authority and sowed disunity. But despite their flaws, Paul didn’t reject them. Rather, he wrote to them, expressing love while calling them to repentance.
This Christ-like example is both a challenge and a lesson for us. We need friends, and we need to be friends, but offenses can strain our bonds. Pride, unforgiveness, or isolation can tempt us to shut others out, while hurt may make us wary of trusting them again. We’re called to forgive, but forgiveness doesn’t always mean immediate, unguarded trust. Trust must be earned through repentance and time.And discernment from above is key.
How do we guard our hearts without falling into passive-aggressiveness? Passive-aggressiveness breeds bitterness, using silence or subtle hostility to punish others. It closes doors to healing. Godly discernment, however, prays for those who have hurt us, shows kindness, and waits on God’s timing for restoration. Paul loved the Corinthians but was wise in how he planned his visits. He wrote, “I hope to spend some time with you, if the Lord permits." Paul wanted to be sure his heart aligned with God’s will. But even when he urged breaking fellowship with the unrepentant, he called for admonishing them as brothers, keeping hope alive for reconciliation (2 Corinthians 2:5-8).
As you likely have figured out, we can’t love like this in our own strength. For this reason, Paul closed his letter with a prayer for God’s grace to be with the Corinthians, knowing only grace could heal their disunity (1 Corinthians 16:23).
Paul affirmed, “My love be with you all in Christ Jesus,” showing that his love for them, (flaws and all), was rooted in Christ’s love. Our first calling isn’t to serve but to know God intimately. As we draw near to Him, His grace overflows, enabling us to love others, discern wisely, and build life-giving relationships.
Cultivating friendships that honor the Lord starts by praising God for His pursuit of you in Christ. Moreover, we must acknowledge our need for others--resisting our craving for isolation that especially arises when we’re hurt. When hurt comes, forgive, but seek God’s wisdom to know who can hold your heart safely. Pray for those who have wounded you, asking God to uproot bitterness and guide your steps. Be a friend like Stephanas, refreshing others with love. And lean hard on Jesus whose grace is the source of your strength to love, discern, and remain open to restoration without compromising truth.